30 hilarious reasons why the German language is the worst.

German is the most widely spoken language in the European Union. It is also the most peculiar. That’s the first thing German speakers will tell you about it. Its fearsome grammar, tediously long words, and aggressive store names and titles are all what set German apart and what gives German learners and expats migraines. These peculiar features have long been great material for internet humor. We roasted French a while ago, and now it’s time we do the same to German. So, sit back, relax, and enjoy the following hilarious German batch. ?































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40 thoughts on “30 hilarious reasons why the German language is the worst.”

  1. Sorry to roast you a little, but:

    “It’s fearsome grammar, tediously long words…”
    Yes, it certainly is!
    (Try “its”)

    Also: “That’s the first thing german speakers will tell you…”
    *German, even

    “So, set back, relax…”
    OK if I *sit back?

  2. Wunderbar! Also the amazing German sensibility for situation awareness where people notice others on the side walks and no one runs into each other. Ever!

  3. Number 23 is not correct. Science = Wissenschaft, natural science = Naturwissenschaft and Not naturwissenschaften.
    Number 25 is Dutch as stated, hence this not German at all.
    But nice collection, nevertheless. 🙂

  4. I am German and until I read the article never found the language difficult. Yet reading it now I think it is rather funny yet beautiful as a language.Even though the words seem endless or bit too much ?

  5. Also, Naturwissenschaft would be “Ciencias naturales” in Spanish, not “Ciencia”. Something similar is the case for French and Italian.

  6. The Latin based languages will be more similar,whereas Germanic based languages will be as well.longer but somewhat similar

  7. Good collection. By the way,shield(English word) was misspelt. The rule is’i before e except after c’. I’m German and love the language.

  8. German can be a little bit difficult, but we’re talking about one of the most importants languages in the world.
    Germany has a perfect economy, politics, life cuality, morality, culture, beer, gastronomy, etc.
    So think twice when you will criticise German or Germany, because Germany is and will ever be one of the bests and one of the most important countries in the world.

  9. I’ve gut wukabulari änt gut pronaunsiäjschn mna goim. Don’t sink komplikäytet. Reet azz writtn wrayt as spokn. Simpel izn itt?
    Don’t kümmer um Grammatik. Djasst ändjoy layf mna goim.

    Tnx 4reading my shitski. Mry xmax
    Haut rein. Frißt nicht soviel.
    Flürgen schlorgen snorgen flörgen (islandic Pilot b4 taking off)
    Take it easy. I’m doneski.

  10. I love this:
    i before e except when your foreign neighbour Keith receives eight counterfeit beige sleighs from feisty caffeinated weightlifters ?

  11. A lot of stupid comments for this stupid article. The author should make sure his English language doesn’t land in the graveyard, it’s so badly used.

  12. As Dutch and Danish people themselves will concede (for Danish, relying on the testimony of two Danish musicians, one a now-deceased conductor, the other a living violinist in Kuala Lumpur), neither of their mother tongues are actually languages— they are throat diseases.^^

  13. Number 11 is not quite correct ( a lift is a driving chair)
    A wheelchair is a “Rollstuhl”- rolling chair

    a lift is a “Aufzug” – up train

  14. I speak both German and English and just wanted you to know I haven’t had such a good laugh ? in a long time. I can translate really well but I never tried literal translation. I’m dying from laughter with tears streaming down my face! Loved it.

  15. Yeah.
    I’m German and today we talk about difficulties in our Language.
    “umfahren” means two opposite things:
    1.) I drive over sth./sb.
    2) I drive around sth./sb.
    The difference is a little bit another pronunciation

  16. Bei den Beleidigungen ist nicht alles „heavy insult“!
    Wir haben praktischerweise Beleidigungen für alle Situationen und Lebenslagen. Von lustig bis extrem.
    „Flachzange“ z.B., ist eher lustig.
    „Flachwichser“ solltest Du nur benutzen, wenn Du ein guter Sprinter bist, einen schwarzen Gürtel in irgendeiner harten Nahkampfsportart hast, oder auf Deine Zähne verzichten kannst.

  17. @britta: a lift could also be both, a “Aufzug” – “up train” or a “Fahrstuhl” – “driving chair”.

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